Is insane overuse of ellipses in an online dating profile an acceptable reason not to respond? We're talking 20-30 occurrences in a profile that is not otherwise terribly robust. Is he just tremendously fond of dots, or does he not know how to complete a thought? If it's the former, I suppose I could get on board with a festive dot motif (assuming I could redirect this interest into other contexts - say, a festive polka dot dress for FAB), but the inability to commit to a thought - particularly in a setting that is dude's one opportunity to tell me who he is and what he's about - feels like a legitimate cause for pause.
Or maybe I just need to introduce him to the em dash.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Until this year.
No, this year, we were gifted with a most unwelcome copy of Haiku for the Single Girl. A quick spin around the Googles would suggest that this book is amazingly witty! hilariously relatable! laugh out loud! and genius!, but I assure you, it is none of these things. The internet, it can be pretty dumb sometimes. Instead, I would like to submit for your consideration that Haiku for the Single Girl is occasionally amusing! definitely depressing! and oftentimes downright self-loathing, implicitly misogynistic, and crudely reductive of the varied and subjective experiences of being a woman in America today, let alone a single woman.
So, yes, family. I may be pushing 33, single, have two cats, and I also may have recently taken up knitting, but you can take your witty!!! poetry, as in: "My high school sweetheart/Has a toddler, and a gut/But I'd take him back," and shove it.
Next year, please just leave me a bottle of whiskey at the door. I'm far too busy knitting knickers for my cats.